|
A:
Dear Stan,
There
is a book called "PELLEH YO'ETZ" by Eliezer
Pappo, among the wise men of Turkey who later
lived in Rumania (died 1824).
On
page 106 he discusses finding a wife. He wrote that even though it is true
that G-d decrees 40 days before conception who will be the partner in
marriage, but there is a more general picture to understand.
There
are three kinds of decrees:
1.
It is decreed that he will receive "good" and not "bad"
and indeed he will receive "good" no matter what he does.
2.
It is decreed that he will receive "bad" and after that decree is
signed and sealed there is no way to save him from the "bad".
3.
It is decreed that he will receive according to what he strives and prays
for.
Therefore
one should assume that he is in the third group and he should do everything
in his power in order to make a good future for himself.
As
far as a good match is concerned, if he has found a good match with a girl
whose family promised a large dowry and suddenly the family is unable to
give him the dowry - he should not delay the marriage or separate from her
rather he should believe in G-d and trust in Him that He is the one who
gives to each and every person what is proper for him. If he does not marry
her because of those financial problems, he will later marry a different
girl who is not his real match and will suffer - besides being punished in
Heaven in the afterlife for refusing to marry the girl he meant to marry.
In
any case a person should pray early and sincerely that he should find a proper
match which will be successful for many years.
All
the above is to be found in PELLA YO'ETZ page 106 (Zivvug,
second paragraph).
Keep
the questions coming. Feel free to ask another.
|
